Ever since that email I’ve been in a bit of a funk and it wasn’t until I decided to take some time off work this week to refocus my energies on me for a bit that I realised that that is the reason I am feeling so out of sorts. I felt the same way when the pandemic was confirmed and things changed at work virtually overnight. I have a light box at work with a countdown date to my next holiday, and on that day, I took the countdown down, in recognition of the realisation that it probably was not going to happen anytime in the near future.
At that time, I experienced that same funk that I find myself in now, but hadn’t equated this recent one with the finality of the cancellation until about ten minutes ago when I started to write. I already feel better about my current mindset as a result and have a little bit of insight into my feelings that I can now work through.
This is the first time in over 6 years that I have not had a major vacation to countdown to. In fact I normally have 2 or 3 on the boil, so to have no forward sight of a holiday destination is something of a foreign feeling!
So I’ve set myself a couple of goals today to reboot and reset my brain. First, a walk down on the Esplanade - not a fast one, but a long, slow rambling walk just drinking in the sights and sounds of this beautiful, winter’s day. Second, recognising that I’ve got some great positives out of this trip already, and that by the time we leave next year, those positives will be well embedded and and absolute blessing on the trail. I have completed 18 x 1.5 hour Spanish lessons with my wonderful profesora de español, Patricia, who is now encouraging me to attend intermediate lessons in conversational Spanish. She assures me that the third level is so much more enjoyable as it is more like a fiesta - food, drink and socialising, all wrapped up to look like a learning experience! Yo hablo español! A second language has been an interesting and challenging goal and while the written and spoken still has a long way to go, I know that right now, on the trail, I could follow directions, order a meal, ask some questions and have a basic understanding of the language (as long as they speak slowly!). An added bonus is the friendship with Patricia and enjoying her stories and her cooking traditional for my Friday night dinners.
So with just those few paragraphs I can already feel the jumble of wiring that was my brain starting to loosen up and ease off. Time to start looking forward to the next adventure - let the planning begin.
